World Health Organization Declares Pandemic of Freedom

May 19, 2020

The World Health Organization (WHO) recently announced a “pandemic of freedom” hitting the United States. After being criticized for the late response to the COVID-19 epidemic emerging out of China, they seem to have reacted much more quickly to this emergency.

Spokesperson for the WHO, Björn Sanderson, stated, “We have seen the spread of freedom sprouting in areas such as Michigan, Wisconsin, parks in Colorado and beaches in Southern California. It has alarmed us how quickly it is spreading and those it is affecting.” He went on to say, “freedom seems to affect certain American demographics more than others. Small business owners, NRA members, first responders, factory and other hourly wage earners seem to be especially impacted but it is quickly spreading across other areas. It seems most Americans are not immune.”

Harvard University history professor, Karen Koe-Klansman said, “we can stop the spread of freedom but we need to act quickly by following the 15 Days to Stop the Spread plan. First, stay inside and listen to your government leaders – they know what is best for you. Second, stay tuned to your trusted national news source – we found CNN and MSNBC to be the most in-tune with stopping freedom’s spread. Finally, stay away from those that are in freedom’s grasp. Associate only with college professors, far-left leaning politicians, mainstream media journalists, most federal, state and local bureaucrats and all those afraid to compete in the real world.”

Some think it is too late to stop the pandemic from spreading. A protester recently interviewed outside the Michigan State Capitol said, “Once you get infected with freedom, it’s like the world has opened up to opportunity. You can’t stop it.” Catching WHO’s Mr. Sanderson as he walked into a UN Human Rights meeting with diplomats from China, Venezuela and Iran, said, “I have faith in America, our frontline responders in media, government, education and Hollywood will help stop this pandemic before it spreads other places.”

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