Pollsters & Media Accused “In the Tank” for Trump, Russia

Sources close to Adam Schiff’s office suggest that the Congressman will be charging national pollsters and media organizations with Russia collusion for supporting the Trump Campaign. Several anonymous sources say the following evidence supports their assertion:

  • Skewing polls to show Joe Biden significantly ahead of Donald Trump. This is an attempt to keep Democrat voters away from the polls by suggesting a victory is imminent.

  • Media covering up the extremely large crowds attending Trump campaign stops. Keeping Biden voters content with what appears to be an easy win.

  • Not covering Hunter Biden’s laptop and emails showing widespread corruption within the Biden family. This has created the illusion that the media and government are hiding something from voters. This will keep moral purists and some “Bernie Bros” away from the polls.

  • Covering up the cognitive decline and obvious mental missteps of Joe Biden thus lowering hopes of a quick Kamela Harris assentation to the Presidency. The left wants a quick transfer of power to leftist Harris.

Heartland News wanted to test the assumptions claimed by the Schiff sources through interviewing several typical Biden voters. Toby Bridges, semi-pro skateboarder and coffee shop barista said “Hey bra, the coffee shop gave me the morning off to vote. I decided to skip voting given Biden is going to win and instead I’m going to listen to tunes and eat some gummies. Why miss a good buzz on my day off?”

Maria Lewis, CEO of diversity and inclusion consultancy White Guilt Anonymous said, “Polls show Biden an easy winner. We are so busy dealing with white guilt in both the public and private sector that I would prefer not take the time to stand in-line and vote. You know, time is money and it’s growing on trees right now.”

So, it seems that the sources may be on to something. However, we were confused with why this suggests Russian Collusion. One source close to Adam Schiff said, “Unlike the last three years we finally have inconvertible evidence of a Russian link. Our investigation found heads of the polling organizations and the networks were together at a bar drinking black Russians. Can’t get much stronger than that.”

They went on to say, “And those charges may not be the last. We are following up with charges of racism as well. Several were actually drinking white Russians.” has your back. We will speak truth to power and challenge political correctness and doublespeak. To get all of our posts consider subscribing.

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