The Public Relations Executives of America (PREA) announced the first annual Woke awards will be given out on September 1, 2020. Sam Shyster, President of the PREA said, “This is exciting news for us. Companies have evolved from ‘cause’ marketing to sophisticated virtual signaling which drives emotional connection with constituents. The key to successful organizational wokeness is to ensure you do not alienate other groups while pandering to your target.”
The finalists for the “Corporate Incongruence” category are:
Starbucks: For elimination of plastic straws while their stores generate millions of pounds of waste each year. Also, providing bathrooms open to anyone to promote clean drug use and spit baths.
McDonalds: For their support of recent BLM protests while restaurants provide cheap, high caloric, poor nutritional food to high risk (diabetic, heart disease) populations.
Nike: For working closely with the Chinese Communist Party and NBA to squash negative comments regarding Hong Kong “uprising.”
The finalists for the “Nonprofit Incompatibility” category are:
Women’s March: Bringing women’s issues to the forefront that only concern some women.
ACLU: Fighting for civil liberties as long as they are left leaning ones.
World Health Organization: Sacrificing world health to protect the economic health of the People’s Republic of China.
Mr. Shyster said, “the last year has seen significant competition by organizations to be the most woke. Public relations executives are seeing high demand for their services and it is time we gave back to the organizations that support us.” Winners will receive $500,000 in social media support to further refine their woke strategies.