Last week we explored intoxication, one of the two new degree programs being offered by colleges and universities. Today we will take a deeper dive into the other degree that is at the center of today’s college experience; victimization.
Ms. Brooke Fineass, President of the Council for the Exploitation and Indoctrination of Young People (CEIYP) says, “Nearly every college course today touches on elements of victimization. We felt it was important to offer a degree that many students can utilize their entire life.”
Let’s explore the degree in victimization:
A BS in Victimization: Students will explore the many ways they are victims today. Root causes will be identified and where possible others will be ridiculed and scapegoated. They will learn about the unfairness with society, work, wealth and life in general. Alternative solutions will be explored that will bring about utopia. This four-year program is broken down in major areas of victimization:
Yes, you are a victim. All freshman will identify how they are victims and where the blame lies. Areas of emphasis include “America formed as a racist nation,” “white supremacy alive and well,” “parents’ role in making us victims” and “when all else fails blame the old and wealthy.” Even White and Asian students will discover they are victims by understanding: “I did not ask to be born this way”.
Victim Hierarchy. Second year students will study the victim hierarchy and how to use it. Understanding that various points that help you to achieve higher victim status. Understand that different cultures and races have higher points. Women get points over men. Transexuals rank highest among the various LGTBQ groups and all rank higher than heterosexuals. Students learn how to use self-identification to change their status and rise in the hierarchy. They also learn that their personal situation is not their fault. Equality, physical attractiveness, wealth and expertise are notions used by those that have achieved success to protect what they have stolen from others.
Victimhood in Practice. Third- and fourth-year students learn how to put their victimhood into practice. Students work in teams to demonstrate and riot for a variety of causes. They learn how to use celebrity, social media and public shaming to cower successful people and drive wokeness. They explore and promote methods to achieve equity including reparations, race quotas, abolition of private property, and other Marxist solutions to bring about fairness.
After completing the coursework students will not be well prepared to go into a career or find success in other aspects of their life. Some mediocre endeavors including journalism, acting, airline customer service and city worker will be available. However, students should not expect to achieve much. For that reason, we encourage a double major with a degree in intoxication. A doctorate degree is being planned that focuses on college administration and professional sports management.
Heartlanders would like to send a message to these young victims. Lyrics from one of the best Eagles song ever...."Get over it":
"You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin' everybody down
Bitch about the present and blame it on the past
I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass"
Seriously, get over it.
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