Men Haters Club Declares Victory

The National Men Haters Club of America (MHCA) has declared victory against the patriarchy. At a recent celebration, spokesperson Pat Dykstra said, “It has been a long time coming. Our movement started in the 60’s with the national women’s movement and today we can say women’s domination is complete.” Below are the proof points:

• More Women graduate college than men

• Men are more likely to drop out of high school

• Men are more likely to be suspended or expelled from school

• Men are most likely to be homeless

• Men are more likely to be homicide victims

• Men are injured on the job more than women

• Men go to prison for the same crimes at higher rates

• Women live longer than men

• Men overdose at higher rates

• Men commit suicide at higher rates

• 30% of children today grow up without a man in the household

Kim S. Manly, President of the Women’s Victim Society of America disagrees, “We are nowhere near done with our work. As Joe Biden recently said, ‘Women are not given a fair shot to get ahead in this country,’ and we dispute the conclusion put out by the MHCA. Until we equal men in all areas, our work is not done. Women should go to prison as much as men and overdose at the same rate. Finally, until no men are left in the household, we must continue.”

Ms. Dykstra said in her victory speech, “We would like to thank the following groups for their help in this victory:

• Our federal, state and local governments – You have done great work in substituting for fathers in the house. Incentivizing single parenthood through entitlements and housing support, inner city children are raised without a father 70% of the time. Well done!

• Colleges and universities – The gender and women’s study programs have worked well to help us understand how dominant the patriarchy is and how much women in America are victims.

• Women’s rights groups – Focusing on the injustices in the United States has helped women achieve victimhood status."

One woman protesting the celebration was Daria Shahi, a Iranian refugee that lost a sister to stoning. She said, “If women in the US were concerned with injustices towards women, they would turn their attention and resources to places like the middle east where even attending a celebration like this would get you killed.”

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