The Democrats put on a major production labeled “The January 6th Memorial Spectacular” last week and it appears to have been slammed by Rotten Tomatoes audience scores. Professional critics (mostly left leaning political junkies) gave the Spectacular a 93% Tomatometer score while audience scores were hovering around 20% prior to the production, being mysteriously taken down from the movie review site.
“The audience scores are very disappointing given the effort in planning and production that went into the celebra…. I mean memorial,” said an anonymous congressional staffer. “Our focus groups suggested that if we hit on language around ‘insurrection’, ‘rule of law’ and ‘threat to democracy’ it would fire up the audience. We were surprised that it did not resonate like we thought it would” she said.
Let’s review the lowlights from the production:
Vice President Kamala Harris compared the January 6th riots to the 9/11 terrorist attack that killed over 3000 people and the attack on Pearl Harbor where over 2200 service men were killed. Jeramiah from Oklahoma City wrote in his review: “From what I know, only one person was killed that day and it was an unarmed women crawling through a window of the Capitol, the comparison does not make sense. I am not a moron.”
The Vice President also messed up her lines near the end of her speech when she tried to quote the constitution. Norma from Sacramento wrote: “You think she would have practiced her lines more. It’s like the first time she ever read the US Constitution.”
Joe Biden’s performance was not rated much better. Levi from New York wrote: “He was very angry and kept alluding to the previous president. I also didn’t like him mentioning the Civil War like this was anything like that.” Mr. Biden did say in his speech that nothing like January 6th ever happened during the Civil War. Though we know that over 620 thousand men gave their lives during the war.
By far the lowest scores came from Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s performance. She was wildly mocked for her tone deafness in bringing on the performers of the Broadway play Hamilton to sing on a Zoom call. “It is one of the best songs in a relatively mediocre play, but not sure what a song celebrating Aaron Burr has to do with the killing of an unarmed women and the attack on police,” said Judy from Osage Beach, Missouri.
Generally, the broad stroke blaming of all Republicans and alluding to the threat of democracy did not play well. One critic, not a fan of the performance wrote: “They tried to make a bigger deal out of it than it was. I mean, the riot lasted 3 hours, caused $1.5 million in property damage before a bi-partisan Congress met and certified the election. The story had a million holes in it.”
Rumors persist a sequel is in the works. This one focusing on the tragic near murder and rape of congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on January 6th. “At one point the congresswoman was within 100 yards of the man with a Viking hat, and we know what the Vikings did when conquering England,” said someone claiming to be writing the sequel.
Republicans are also threatening a production on what they call the “Summer of Destruction, The BLM riots.” A source close to the green-lit production said, “25 people were killed and 7 billion dollars in damage was caused based on a lie. We are thinking it might even be a comedy if we focus on how Democrats fawned over the rioters and how the media kept telling us they were mostly peaceful.”
Get the popcorn ready, we will have plenty of Washington theatrics to watch.
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