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HeartlandNews.Net Announces Reorganization


HeartlandNews.Net announced a reorganization today resulting in net job losses in their Diversity and Inclusion group. Their Chief Nonsense Officer, Dean Erlandson, said in a prepared statement, “After an exhaustive review of the results from our Diversity & Inclusion efforts, we have determined that they have had detrimental effects on our organization. We regret to announce we are ceasing efforts in this area. All the members of the team will be leaving the organization by the end of January.”


Sources said that the company reviewed prior and post employee surveys after “micro-aggression” training along with efforts around “dismantling the racists white male power structure” and found that these efforts actually lowered overall engagement in the company. In addition, the D&I group could offer no hard data that the efforts resulted in better business for the company.


Mr. Erlandson went on to say, “Although you can say like other companies, we saw some benefits form our D&I efforts. It allowed us to lower our legal liability from potential frivolous lawsuits brought on by race hustlers. In addition, it was a great way to pander to the woke demographic. However, the negative effects on employee morale were such that we could not justify continuing efforts in this area.”


One employee affected by the reorganization said on the condition of anonymity, “I am sad to leave the company. But the human resources group seems to almost be enjoying themselves during the reorganization. Typically, this group is relegated to hosting charity activity, benefits meetings and supervising casual Fridays. But they act like this is their Super Bowl or something. I guess they like being important.”


HeartlandNews.net stated in a press release, “In line with our core values, all departing employees will be treated the utmost respect and dignity. We regret the inevitable inconvenience this will cause those affected. However, we are sure that this reorganization will strengthen our business and allow us to focus on business results.”




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