A leaked internal HeartlandNews.net memo indicates they are considering launching a new super hero named Goyaman. This superhero is destined to fight one of the greatest scourges of modern-day America; cancel culture. The memo lays out the premise for the new hero:
“By day, a fair-minded corporate leader running a successful food company. But by night, a tireless hero saying what he believes to be true and standing by his convictions. Unlike the vast majority of corporate executives, public relations employees and those trying so desperately to pander and virtue signal to popular narratives, Goyaman says what he means and does not back down.”
The memo goes on to say “and when Goyaman inevitably says something unpopular to the easily offended and outraged, the evil doers of cancel culture including the internet trolls, background checkers, agenda driven politicians and media watchdog groups will pounce. They will look for anything negative in Goyaman’s background and with the help of the complicit media, will exploit it. But unlike the meek and huddled masses of business leaders who try and protect their jobs and many perks, Goyaman stands tall and resists the slithering bottom feeders.”
Chief nonsense officer for HeartlandNews.net Dean Erlandson, was asked for comment. “I am disappointed that this memo got leaked before we had fully developed the character. We believe that Goyaman has the potential to be very popular mainly because he is so unique in the business world today. We seem to have lost a whole generation of leaders but hope Goyaman will inspire the next generation to have a backbone and be willing to say what they mean and stand behind it.”
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