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Finally, A WH Press Conference with Some Intelligence


After President Biden’s first press conference was widely panned by the critics, the White House quickly threw together a second one in as many days.


This one featured Scruffy, the new White House dog. She was recently added to the President’s staff when his previous dog reportedly had bitten several people and was relegated to the President’s residence in Delaware. Scruffy has quickly become one of Mr. Biden’s favorite and most trusted advisors demonstrating superior intelligence and loyalty. The president can relate to her at his level and communication between the two requires no notes, cheat sheets, teleprompters or agendas. Scruffy just sits in his lap and endlessly listens to the stories of Corn Pop, arrests in South Africa and the different TV shows on ME TV.


Unlike the first press conference yesterday, this one demonstrated a press corps looking to uncover important information. It was hard hitting and at times confrontational. Unlike yesterday’s conference, this one provided information and context as both Scruffy and the press corps dug into issues important to the American people. Much like the press conferences under previous President Trump.


After some opening pleasantries and Scruffy demonstrating her superior sitting and shaking skills, the conference took a more serious note. New York Times (a former newspaper) White House Correspondent Charles Dimwit wasted no time in digging. He asked Scruffy, “If you are a purebred, why are you neutered?” This elicited a low growl and a stiff tail from Scruffy indicating it was time to move on.


Chief White House Reporter for the Washington Post (where freedom dies in darkness), Rebekah Knotaclue fired off the next salvo “We understand that you are estranged from your parents and 8 siblings. Care to elaborate?” Scruffy responded with a loud growl and deep stare indicating the subject was out of bounds.


There were some more light-hearted moments of the conference. When Fox News Correspondent Peter Gaughtsgame asked, “What has been your impression of the White House staff under the Biden Administration?” Scruffy quickly jumped down from the podium and defecated. Some gasped but most laughed as new Assistant Secretary of Health Rachel Levine picked up the poop and sprayed the area with Nature’s Miracle.


It looks like we may have finally found someone within the new administration that provides well thought out answers that make sense and a new improved press corps that will get back to hard hitting journalism instead of salivating like Scruffy before breakfast.


It’s about time.






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