Embassy Cuts CRT Training Short for Evacuation

Anonymous sources in the state department have reported that the US embassy in Afghanistan was forced to cut critical race theory training short due to an evacuation of the facility. One diversity and inclusion instructor was quoted as saying, “We were just getting to the best part, you know, when the white employees tell everyone how sorry they are for being privileged, when the Marines said we had to go.”

One embassy employee wanted to leave when the first marine broke into the class and said to “line up for the helicopters.” She said: “But the instructor quipped he was just demonstrating his white supremacy in ordering us around. It wasn’t until a Hispanic marine came back with him, that he finally let us run for the helipad.”

Critics of the Biden administration have said that focus on gender and white racism training in the State Department, Department of Defense and other governmental agencies has taken priority away from leading on the world stage and protecting Americans in the US and abroad. The situation in Afghanistan is just the latest example. “The Taliban is over running the country just five weeks after the President said that would not happen” said Jeremy Dinger, Assistant to the Assistant Director for Zimbabwe affairs under the Obama Administration. “They had no clue; they all went on vacation.”

Those friendly to the administration say that is nonsense. “America is leading on the world stage by demonstrating how we can address our terrible racism and paternalistic problems,” said Nancy Dum-Asshat (pronounced Dum as shat), private diversity and inclusion contractor. “If we had done the training years ago, I’m sure the Taliban would not be using such brutal tactics like public executions, stoning and the cutting off of hands and feet for petty crimes,” she said.

Some have questioned the timing of the training. It seems to many that America has significant problems with COVID, the border crisis, an inflated economy and rampant violent crime. But those close to the training say that the administration was on a short timeline to get the CRT training done. “They have to get to other training before Biden leaves office. They have several other subjects to get done including ‘sex and gender is just a social construct’, ‘leading from behind’ and ‘one person’s crime is another person’s justice,’” said a person close to the administration.

It was reported that during the evacuation a catastrophe was barely avoided. It seemed that one training instructor was refusing to board the helicopter. She was refusing because the crew was not diverse enough. “The six crew members included only one woman,” said a marine working the evacuation. “I calmly told her that if she was left behind that most likely they would burn her at the stake for not covering her head or be forced to marry, not drive and be unable to work outside her dirt home. Her eyes got this big around,” he said motioning with his hands near his eyes, “and she nearly knocked me over to get on the bird.”

Another instructor almost missed the last flight when he went back to lower the pride flag at the embassy. Luckily, they waited for the man (he, him) despite nearby gun fire.

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