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Dodgers Threaten to “Burn It Down” with Post Season Loss


Taking a cue from democrat politicians, leftists and media pundits, the Los Angeles Dodgers threaten to burn down Dodger Stadium if they do not win in the post season. Reliever Zac Jeremy said “We deserve to win given we have the most talent but if somehow we get beat on our way to a the World Series win, I am afraid we cannot control what happens to Dodger Stadium. It’s feasible the stadium could burn to the ground.”


Over the last week the nation has observed several democrats threatening to “pack” the Supreme Court, offer statehood to heavy democratic territories and get rid of the electoral college if Trump and republicans go through with confirming a new Supreme Court Justice. Not to be outdone wacky leftists threatened to burn down the country and media loons like Don Lemon of CNN said the American system needs to be blown up. Even Joe Biden inferred that the violence wracking the nation will not stop unless he is elected.


Sources close to the ball club said the idea to threaten violence came from an impromptu player’s meeting at La Bombas Gentleman’s Club this week. An anonymous source said “it started with some players saying they would leave the country if they did not win. But they quickly agreed that this tactic was unsuccessful with Hollywood elites during the last presidential election. So, it quickly moved to threatening violence.” The source also said “if this strategy works, they plan to use it for contract negotiations, rule changes and a shorter season.”


HeartlandNews.net caught up with Mr. Jeremy and asked “what if all teams threatened to burn down stadiums with a loss?” He said “Hey, we thought of it first so it’s not fair that others copy us.” We then asked “do you think it is illegal to incite violence if you do not get your way?” He looked amazed at the question and then said “I did not say it would happen, I just said it is feasible that the stadium could burn down.”


Los Angeles Dodger fan Patty Peterson said "I think it is a great idea. We deserve to win. Losing makes me feel all sad and I hate to be sad. Besides, whatever it takes to win we should do." Chicago White Sox fan and bar owner Nathan Quip said "I offer my own threat. You bring that mess here and our boys from South Chicago will beat your ass."


Assistant pitching coach of the Philadelphia Phillies, Jimmy Havoc said “threatening to burn down a stadium is an interesting twist. We worry our city will burn down IF we win the World Series. I mean Philadelphians love to loot stores and burn vehicles when, in the unlikely event, our sports teams win anything.”

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