Congress Pushes to be First in Line for Everything

Controversy has erupted over priority for the COVID-19 vaccine. Currently front-line workers and the nursing home elderly are near the top of the list to receive the new drug. Apparently though, congressmen and women are even a higher priority as they have been given the vaccine already. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made a very public statement by receiving the shot a few days ago while cameras were rolling.

A investigation uncovered that several in Congress are pushing for top priority status for additional perks. A draft memo was provided by an anonymous source close to the Capitol that stated that our elected officials are proposing to have the following benefits ahead of all other Americans:

  • Front of line privileges at all theme parks, taxi lines, banks and restaurants.

  • Automatic top airline status and automatic upgrades in the rare event they must lower themselves to fly commercial. Airline airport clubs included.

  • Ability to go through the “12 items or less” line at any food store with unlimited items.

  • Top of all waiting lists for anything new and exciting (e.g., Teslas, boats, video game consoles and other toys, iPhone etc.)

  • No wait privileges for all online, 800 and chat customer service issues for any problem.

  • When the crushing American debt drives the economy to shambles, they will get front of line status for all bread and soup lines.

The memo states that Congress, their families and staff will be given a “life fast pass.” All they will need to do is flash it whenever they need to be a priority. Americans will then bow and move aside. One member who wished to remain anonymous said, “This makes perfect sense. We have very important jobs that must be done for the American people and time cannot be wasted.”

Some are not so sure about this idea. Marvin Smith, health aide at St. Luke’s hospital in Waimea, Hawaii said, “I go to work everyday and risk possible exposure to COVID. They have told me it will be at least 60 days before a vaccine can be administered to aid workers. It seems wrong that people in government get it first.”

One of our elected officials was overheard saying, “Listen, let’s be real about this. There are literally millions of elderly and tens of thousands of health aid workers. We can afford to lose a few more. There are only a few thousand important people at the Capitol. We must protect the important work that we do. Americans should not be so self-centered and greedy.” has your back. We will speak truth to power and challenge political correctness and doublespeak. To get all of our posts consider subscribing.

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