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Black Olives Matter


A food industry group is launching a campaign to bring respect and revenue for black olives. The Producers of Black Olives International (POBOI) has started this campaign with a slogan, “Know and Add an O.” Spokesperson for POBOI, Megan Imotraged, said, “Black olives use to be a staple of every relish tray and pizza, but today it is green olives getting all the attention. Our plan is to change that in cost effective grass roots effort.”


POBOI is paying $50.00 to anyone who will add an O in front of “Lives” on graffiti or signs that state, “Black Lives Matter” changing them to “Black Olives Matter.” Ms. Imotraged says, “For a relatively small amount of money we can get the word out. A good black olive adds life to any eating occasion.” So far, the organization has paid out thousands to those adding O’s.


The effort is a two-prong attack. First, they are focused on the “Black Lives Matter” monikers being put up in most major cities. “But once the word is out around ‘know and add an O’ we will then focus on changing ‘BLM’ graffiti to ‘BOM’ by squaring off the L,” said Ms. Imotraged.


Green olive producers were asked for a comment and in a written statement they stated, “We thought about adding O’s to ‘All Lives Matter’ but our research found that no one seems to care about ‘All Lives.’ So, we will continue to focus on adding fun things like garlic, jalapenos and blue cheese to our olives. The public really seems to like that.”


HeartlandNews.net reached out to New York City for a comment. Comrade Phuluonce, from the Ministry of Enlightenment responded with a prepared statement, “We will not tolerate the abuse of city approved propaganda. Those caught defacing our defacements will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Hate groups like POBOI and their hate speech will be stopped. This is one of the highest priorities in the De Blasio regime.”


Megan from POBOI reacted with surprise, “You see that is a perfect example of institutional hatred toward black olives. We were making so much progress toward universal olive acceptance until those marxists came along and had to make it all about color.”

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